Advise or similar stories welcomed......WARNING:it is long!?

My LMP was May 23 and my cycles range from 28(rare)-37(rare) days long with most of my cycles being about 33-35 days. My hubby and I did our little baby dance every day to every other during the week of June 6th-14th which should have been prime ovulating time. We were on vacation and in the ocean/pool every day all day so I didn't notice any stretchy/sticky cm but I do get it every single month! I do not temp. but I did use ovulation sticks and would get two lines but the test was never as dark as the control so either I missed my surge, my urine was too dilute or I didn't ovulate(which I doubt). I forget the exact date but around the 17th of this month I felt a sharp pinch on my right side and I was thinking ovulation or implantation. I took another OPK and got two lines again with the test still lighter than the control. Since then I have had cramping(especially on right side), alternating diarrhea and constipation, tiredness, increased urination, and still no period but the real kicker is my boob KILL! My boobs never hurt before my period but they kill on the sides, nipple is itchy and they feel fuller. Today is day 36 and still no period. I took a first response early pregnancy test this evening and it was negative. I will re-test in a couple days which feels like forever. I honestly feel pregnant. I have occasional bouts of some scant nauseous feeling but it never stays. Anyone else test negative with the early tests and still end up pregnant? what do you think? Please do not be rude and say "just test" because that is not what I am asking!